When things go wrong: 3 Lessons from my last scuba Adventure
Mindset is key to having a life you are excited about. First step is being clear about who you are and what you want. I am super clear that among other things, I am a proud scuba diver. I love the water, I love the fish, I love the comrades involved. Once you know what you want, then you have to learn to let go when things don't go according to plan and something things REALLY don't go according to plan...
Since moving to Florida almost a month ago I have been scuba diving twice and I plan on making it a regular part of my life here. This second time I was very much looking forward to it. I enjoyed the people I hung out with the first time and even chilly weather by florida standards meant for an absolutely beautiful day. Scuba diving feels so freeing, like stepping into joy. This second trip was not exactly that....
The day began normal enough. Met my friends super early for our 2 hour drive to the coast. We were going to Jupiter beach. No snags or hicups, in fact we were there early. We weren't rushed or stressed, it was a lovely start to what I thought would be a fantastic day.
And the truth is, it was a fantastic day!
Lesson #1 to having a life you are excited about: Let go of expectations
We got on the boat, set up our gear and watch storm clouds come and go. What threatened to be somewhat of a stormy day ended up being beautiful blue water, big blue fluffy clouded sky and giant 5 foot waves that seemed to smack our boat around. We drove out to sea about 30 minutes and on the way out, I faced forward and danced with the bouncing of the ocean and embraced this wouldn't be a calm sea day. Once I had to sit down and don my equipment that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I must have turned green. Certainly my friends did! I have never been sea sick like that ever. I've done at least 50 dives in my lifetime and it's never quite been like that. We went out for our first dive of the day and under water, I was ok. I saw groupers the size of couches, reef and nurse sharks, an eel, and life I never really thought about could exist in florida. Once I started my normal shivers from cold, it was time to surface. All normal and part of a lovely scuba experience sans the sea sick start.
Once on top of the water the waves had grown. So 6/7 foot waves sloshing us around while we waited for the boat to return and pick us up. I was a little concerned about it not being much better returning to the boat. It definitly wasn't!! One of my friends started the upchuck party.
It was so bad for my buddy and I that we didn't go on the second dive. You would have thought getting in the water and doing the dive would have us feel a little better, but donning our equipment was impossible without throwing up. One of my friends wrapped herself around the boat and fell asleep. I tried to do the same but kept waking up in fear of being thrown off the boat because of the waves! It didn't help that the captain of the boat kept putting us parallel to the waves making the boat teeter sideways port and starboard.
Instead of fighting the moment, instead of feeling bad about not diving, instead of making any of it wrong, I was present and let go of expectations. How many times do we take our work days, our relationships, our moments gone not according to plan, and make them wrong? Instead just being with what it will give us power to make decisions in the moment.
Lesson #2 to having a life you are excited about: Ask powerfully
After we touched terra firma, I was back to myself again, but I was starving and exhausted. My friends also came back to life but it was clear we needed to eat something NOW. We returned our gear back to our vehicle and learned quickly that we had left the keys in the car. Guess we were to excited to notice. The battery was completely dead. The adventure was on now to get the car jumped without jumper cables.
First person I asked had one designed for a boat. It didn't work. Second person I asked worked at the only restaurant in walking distance. We didn't have jumper cables so that had to be our first question. After a number of no's to having jumper cables, we got an uber to find a place to get some. That uber driver not only drove us there, he also drove us back and attempted to give us a jump. It didn't work either...
Long story short, we asked multiple people all saying no till we got a yes. And it was a powerful yes! This gentleman pulled his own battery out of his car to start our car. This wouldn't be the last of our car troubles for the day but to get what you need it's important to simply ask. Asking powerfully means giving people the freedom to say no without having it mean anything.
When is the last time you truly asked for what you needed? Do you expect a specific answer when you do ask? What might be available to you if you let go of your judgments about yourself and others in your interactions?
Lesson #3 to having a life you are excited about: Take responsibility
We did finally eat something and it was delicious. Or maybe not! I was so hungry it didn't really matter. My friend who blamed herself for leaving the keys kept apologizing to us. We kept assuring her that it was all good and all fine and would later make a really fun story... later! The truth is we all took responsibility for the debacle. Taking responsibility isn't about blame but it is about having power over everything that is in life.
That day Bob took the gear out of the car, Tina put it on the cart on and off the boat, I took the towels and bags, Sam got us checked in and checked out... we all had a part to play in how the day unfolded. At any point any of us could have seen the keys, or asked if our stuff was secure in the car and we didn't.
Taking responsibility means staying powerfully connected to the fact that every in my life is because I made it happen. When you start giving your power away and blaming others, "it was Bob who last has the keys", "it was Sam who was last in the car", "it was tina who had all our stuff on the boat".... we stop creating our lives and we become victims to it. You my friend are no victim to your life! You create it powerfully everyday. That day I very well could have made sure everyone had all there small secure items and in my haste to scuba dive, I let that ball drop. Staying powerful and taking responsible, I can make sure something like this never happens again.
Where can you begin to take more responsibility for your life? Where have you been giving it away? What is available to you if you own your life from this moment?
I take every moment I can to grow and this was no different. I had a blast spending time with my new friends. Because we all went with the flow, because we were able to make stuff happen and not blame each other we actually had a really fantastic day with each other. We were exhausted by the end but another great scuba adventure was had, just not the way we thought.